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Sunday, December 25th, 2005
1:06 am - In search of help
Mr. Chalfonte is accepting resumes for heterosexual males who are homophobic for the non-profit organization, Helix.
To be taste testers for an exquisite Thai/American taste testing contest.
The main course is cream of sumyung guy.
Applicant must say fast to understand.
Applicant must be extremely homophobic otherwise foreign investors are not interested.
Also, for future investments in saving an ex-fighting pitbull foundation.
Foreign investors are only interested in the brown eye, period.
And not the one that winks, the one that stinks.
Lubrication is not included.
All applicants must submit a colonoscopy.
Foreign investors are taken very seriously.
The contributions made to foundation are extremely important and their happiness must be met at any extent.
The foreign investors do not enjoy sleeping with gay men.
They stress the point that the man that they are sleeping with must extremely hate the situation otherwise they do not enjoy.
For further information contact 1-888-BOY-ANUS.
(NO WATER BASED-LUBRICANT ALLOWED)
Applicants preferably should have genital warts or some non-curable venerial disease.
Thank you.
And look forward to sucking you.
Signed.

-Mr. Chalfonte's personal assistant Keith Pear'ion

current mood: flirty

(1 comment | comment on this)

Monday, December 27th, 2004
6:03 pm
It's Mr. Chalfonte.
I've graduated school from Northwestern Tech.
I'm a certified HVAC Technician.
I have recieved a new job doing property maintanance.
I now have my own place.
My refridgerator is stocked.
And I now lay around lazily in my spare time and watch pitbull flicks.

And don't forget to third eye.
Not the one that winks.
The one that stinks.
LOL

current mood: content

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Monday, November 10th, 2003
10:43 am - takin care of buisnessss (think of that song)
latly ive been working 2 jobs folks beleive it or not and spending off days at career centers and temp agencys im so borded ive decided to make somthin out of this time instead of letting this time making somthing out of me. ya know but who says you cant teech a old dog new tricks a so in the meen time keep the blunts rolled and the 5ths close buy continuing feild work and stuff holla

current mood: accomplished

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Thursday, August 28th, 2003
4:58 pm - TO JENI BENSEND: YOU STUPID DUMB BITCH.
What the fuck do you mean he "might as well be black"?
What are you insinuating?
You low-life, heroin shooting, can't afford to pay for your own rinse, let alone your own needle, prostitute who works for beans.
How dare you say black people are lazy and he might as well be black.
The KKK wouldn't accept you if you payed them.
You lick ass for dollar bills.

I hate your guts for saying that.
And everybody knows at heart you truly love black cock. :-*
I can't believe you said that.
I am truly offended.
Thanks for letting me know your true feelings about black people.
When in actuality, you talk about Eric going to die in front of his computer, when you're just as bad, if not worse.
At least he's not playing Monday Night RAW and Thursday Night SMACK Down, you fucking junkie.

P.S.
I would not piss down your throat if your guts were on fire.
Everyone knows you don't look as good as you do in those pictures.
You have to use Photoshop just to enhance your ugliness.
And if you were lucky, God would throw you a little color.
You pale bitch.

And I have nothing against white people for the record.
Some of my best friends are white.

Just low-life tornado-bait, trailor trash fucks like Jeni Bensend.

current mood: pissed off

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4:47 pm - I'm pissed off
To all of you who are my so-called friends: PISS OFF!!!
I have yet to be entertained or contacted by any of you.
You all ditched me.

I'm continuing field work and enjoying my audio hallucinations.
If you need to contact me, you should already have my number.
If you don't, you should know somebody who does.
If I haven't heard from you, then that means that you just said "Fuck off.".
Mr. Chalfonte does not give a fuck who doesn't give a fuck about him.
Upon reading this, you have just kissed my ass.
Hahaha.

In the meantime, give me a reach-around.
Smooches.

And by the way, we also sell taints to go along with the labias.
And gooch busters.

Contact for more information.
Peace people.

current mood: aggravated

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Tuesday, August 12th, 2003
12:02 am - whoa what a ordeal!
ive been continuing field work, i am presently very fucked up...and trying to be like my mentor SCARFACE. upon reading this you have just kissed my azz. i would like to say thank you..eric stephenson-youre labias are in! theyve been on back order and i apologize for the wait..please excuse the inconvenience...thank you for your hospitality...in the meantime, im doing what al pacino portrayed best...-hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

current mood: amused

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Sunday, April 6th, 2003
1:09 am - ooooo yaaa
hope the party is off the hinge fellas dont do nothingf i wouldnt do

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1:04 am - chillin in genoa township
sittin at the left overs of a bachchalor party im drunk as a skunk fellin good qoute of the day get paid bitch. until then hollaaaa

current mood: drunk

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Sunday, February 23rd, 2003
7:42 pm - still high
the weed i smoked was creeper lol!!!!!

current mood: high

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7:31 pm - just chillin
Im in a state of mind i think that is quite pleasant IM BAKED!! well going to play mortal combat and smoke cigs those who wish to contact ill be at locations 3-7use normal means of communication in the mean time im at playing video games and feild work carry on fello comrads

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Saturday, February 22nd, 2003
3:12 pm - Fuck You
I have come to the conclusion that i am now a 110%not giving a fuck about shit i am now advancing to a new level of griminess i dont give a fuck about no one or thing any more i am officially cold hearted so to those who dont know what that means in english its ooooo shit!!!!! for any one who stands in the way of my conquest i apolgize who had nothing to do with the change in heart but ooo well sorry kids quote of the day "dont try this at home" farewell

current mood: angry

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Tuesday, February 18th, 2003
11:37 pm - I can't believe Ashley said that
I read Ashley's LiveJournal and she said that she is looking for a roomate.
I offered and she had the audacity to say I don't have transportation or a job, as if she didn't know who she was talking to.
Ashley, not cool.
Please return the Smith hat.
Continuing field work.

Quote of the day:
"How dare you offer to smoke pot that has seeds with me."

current mood: annoyed

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Saturday, February 15th, 2003
5:50 pm - Fuck you
Now that everybody's back down to Earth and got all that cupid bullshit out of your head, we can get back down to the bare essentials.
Gettin fucked up and partyin'.
I'm going to continue my fieldwork and possibly kill some brain cells with some of America's finest offered.

Quote of the day:
"I'm not crazy. You're crazy for thinkin' I'm crazy."

current mood: radical

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Friday, February 14th, 2003
9:05 pm
Pimps don't do Valentines.
It's Valentine's Day every day.
For further notice, I'm out doing field work.
Get ahold of me if something interesting is going on...

current mood: iffy

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